Sunday, October 21, 2012

Did I ever tell you about the time I was arrested?

I was just sitting here thinking about the one and only time I was arrested.

It was 1992 and I was dating this guy and we will call him J1. His friend J2 comes to visit us and tells us he has tickets to the U2 ZooTV show in Miami on March 1st (the very next day). We are all too young to have any real money so we decided to drive from PA to FL to see this show.

Let me just say, at the time, I have never met anyone who was a bigger fan than the three of us, especially J1. I mean, he looked like Bono. With red hair... but still!! Amazing how he had the movements and the voice and everything down. Maybe that is why I fell in love with him. Trust me, I am still trying to figure that one out.

No one else knew we were going or that we left... No one...

We pile into J1's Nissan pick-up and there is only enough room for 2 in the front so I was in the bed of the truck with the cap on. For HOURS!

We finally arrive at the Miami arena the day of the show early in the day and decide to walk around and 'scope out' the area. After we were there for about an hour J2 decides to tell us that he really doesn't have tickets but he is sure we can scalp some. WHAT THE HELL ??? We just drove like 15 hours (me in the back bed for god's sake!) and this asshole doesn't have tickets? I still cannot swear enough at this!!!

Sure enough, this arrogant ass gets us tickets only after I have just about shit myself and was still in total shock.

While I am still in dire recovery, we are scoping out the arena then and decide to try to figure out where U2 would be entering and / or exiting the arena. You know, just in case we want to meet them...

So, we walk around, figure it all out in our heads where they will be and then finally we go in for the show. Which was AMAZING! I mean it! AMAZING! Did I mention that I am still waiting for Bono to come get me? It isn't a matter of 'IF', it is just a matter of 'WHEN'... Just saying...

Anyway, we walk out of arena after the show and go to the "secret location" where we are sure to have the most amazing moment of our lives! And wouldn't you know it... the arrogant ass (J2) was right again! I hated how he almost always was. He still makes me wrinkle my nose when I think about him... I hate that bastard... (Stay on track here! Sooooooo)

Where we were at the time was at the top looking down to a service / truck bay area. The only way to get there from where we were was to go down these long ramps with railings that reminds you of either the handicapped path from hell or the lines at an amusement part that you wait in line for 1-3 hours for a 4 minute ride on a lame roller coaster. They zig-zagged back and forth all the way down.

When we start seeing real movement down below with bodyguards and cameras flashing we KNEW our time had come!!!! Oh my freaking god! This is really going to happen!

So we all start hurdling over all of these railings (there had to be at least 100,000,000 of them, I swear!) and of course there is security coming behind us out of freaking NOWHERE! They morphed out of thin air like a video game or something! CRAZY SHIT! No kidding! This is one of many reasons I believe in the paranormal... really...

Of course, the girl is always caught first... Security got me by the waist and pummeled me like a linebacker would. Knocked the air out of me and I saw stars! Or maybe that was just Bono... I can't say for sure... Did I mention I have been in love with this man for 25 years??!!!

Next was J1. He had short legs and too long of a torso so he was never on the track team, that is for sure. They got him by the ankle as he was leaping and I still to this day cannot believe he didn't hit his head and go into a permanent coma.

J2 was sprinting and leaping and it was in slow-motion and he was going to make it! Really, he was right there! This guy is 6 foot something and was strong. He was always in trouble so running was second nature to him. That guy could run fast!

J2 gets all the way to the bottom and the security gets him by the leg... and he goes down... RIGHT IN FRONT OF BONO!!!!

Bono extends his beautiful hand and helps J2 stand up... Bono says something to J2... and then J2 is wrestled to the ground by the security guy. Half his size I must add! Hilarious to watch!

We all get round up and the Dade County Police come to arrest us. While we are all standing there against one of the cop cars waiting to be taken away to the county jail, I say to J2... 'What did Bono say to you?'... Tick, Tock (pun intented)... J2 says, 'I can't remember'... He can't remember? I kicked his ass (literally) and got yelled at by the cop standing with us. He really can't remember??? What in all things holy is wrong with this guy? I still haven't figured it out.

We get shipped off to the county jail. We spend the night there. J1 and J2 get to stick together and I am separated from them... because I am a girl. When with this stupid agony ever end... Anyway... Early the next morning we are released because Bono decided not to press charges, the county decided not to press charges, the arena decided not to press charges... I think they even had to ask Mother Theresa if she wanted to press charges and she too declined.

We were released and drove home. J1 and J2 in front with me (AGAIN) alone in the back...

... Left to relive this story over and over and over as the most amazing night of our lives ...

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